In 20 years. . .

Disillusionment

Randi had her misgivings about their relationship after Sam revealed that he had had some "work" done. To this day playing dress up just isn't the same.

Sam, derelict in duty helmsman.

Mark wears his shades in da club to impress Sam and John.

Finally, when he couldn't take it anymore, Sam implements his plan to tell the world to "Fuck off".

Samfari

Although much cheaper and more docile than its distant cousin the elephant, the Samephant harmed the Malaysia tourist trade because it was, according to the Malaysian Department of Tourism, "just too creepy for words."

In the End, the fashion industry will consume the best of us.

The Cost of Dreams...

Sam paid a steep price to become the KKK beanbag champion.

The Unrealized Dream...

Sam awoke to find that the world had been destroyed. He thought to himself that finally he got to realize his dream of pooping outside and talking on the phone. Unfortunately, if Sam had investigated sooner he would have quickly found it had just been straight-line winds.

Sam phones home.

Sam in stock photo format. Ohh wait. . .

Sam in format for the Matrix

Sam in ascii format

Sam is about to find out that being Brett Favre isn't all it's sacked up to be.

Samus catus

Sam and Kesha had a baby.... with a very efficient nose.

Sam the Body pt 2

Samlunking

Sam "The Body" Petersen.

Mishap of Olympic proportions.

Samkee 7.

Samkee 6.

Sam's last moment before the horrific accident was elegant, to say the least.

Jeff had the moped. Sam had the brains. Together, they sought chicks.

Samcat.

Samkee 5.

Samkee 4.

Fighting/Bird type Samkemon.

Sam Learns the True Meaning of Papoose Board.

SamShark

SCHUM!

SLOW ROLLED: Sam gets a little upset at poker night.

I'm Free!!!!

WWWWEEEEEE

Dr. Petersen grabs a snack while teaching Animal Biology.

On his way out of Best Buy after buying the new Justin Bieber record.

What.

The operation changed Sam in more ways than one. . .

The Samathawk is truly the most magnificent creature of Pandora

Sam is lucky to be featured in the newest line of Happy Meal toys

The worst thing you can have in your pubic hair: SamCrabs

The Pubic Hare.

Samrat

Samkee 3.

Samkee 2.

Black Dildo Mage

Samkee

After years of hunting, Sam finds the creature responsible for mangling his ear.

Samstache

In the midst of the November Senate race, Sam gets a chance to share his key issue with members of Congress